A co-owner of the Liberal National Party has commissioned a copy of the famous almost unsinkable Titanic ocean liner, which is to be named Titanic 2.

Mr Clive Palmer a multi-billionaire coal magnate and sole owner of the governing Queensland political team announced that Titanic 2 would differ from the original in that it would really be unsinkable. Most journalists took this to mean the new Titanic would incorporate modern technologies to prevent the ship from sinking.

What Mr Palmer actually meant was that by the time his ship is launched, he will have sold so much coal that global warming will have reduced the size of any remaining Atlantic icebergs to the size of Queensland pineapples.

Mr Palmer is expected to announce an even bigger naval project in coming weeks. He has an ingenious plan to obliterate the major shipping hazard on the Queensland coast. The hazard is threatening to derail his plans for building two massive new coal loading ports. Mr Palmer said the Great Barrier Reef is really a great barrier to development in Queensland and its removal will make us all better off.

Mr Palmer said he had instructed his newly installed Queensland Government to put the reef up for tender. Mr Palmer has made arrangements to sell it to a Chinese syndicate who could see the benefit in moving it to China where much bigger tourist numbers could easily access and enjoy the reefs wonderful environmental qualities.