“Look, good morning cadet Australians. This is none other than me…me, your leader…all rise for the flag” said Tony Abbott.

“I’m starting this morning’s national assemblies schools address series with the thrilling news….the thrilling news, cadets, that Don Voelte AO…Don Voelte AO is to become…look…Chairman of  new ABC INC…cadet Australian’s, Don’s legendary partnership with another great Australian, none other than Sir Pete Gammell d’Bush-Family- Hospitality, saw him appointed to the position of Chief Executive Officer and Managing Director of Seven West Media Limited, circa June 2012. A loyal Australian tower of moral courage across our rugged colony…Don’s been a director of Seven West Media Limited, and prior to the formation of Seven West Media Limited, West Australian Newspapers Holdings Limited since December 2008…

…As you’ll know from your history books, significant experience in the global oil and gas industry is a prerequisite of leadership in our great colony…and, prior to his retirement in June 2011, Donny was the Managing Director and Chief Executive Officer of the legendary Woodside Petroleum Limited, a position he had held since joining the company in 2004, cadet Australians. Appropriate comunications are a hallmark of my Abbott administration and will stand our great colony in good…”

(TBC…)