One is vewy pwoud of one’s wecord of achievements. Gina, Andy, Tony and all my other gweat friends in Auusstrayliahh have really taken my wules on board, and with gweat gusto. Ho, ho. I’ve cwafted them with the utttmost care – tested ’em, gone beck to the dwawing board. I guess that innovation and integwity will wule the day, eh?

‘Flinty’ has even been dwopping hints thet your’s twuly may even become Her Meajestys’s wepwesentative in Auusstrayliahh. Ha, ha. Of course, this is conditional upon Tony delivewing his goods, so to speak. Ahummph.

Wules for How to be a pwoper Denialist in the Modern Age:

1) Allege thet there’s a conspiracy. Claim that scientific consensus has arisen through collusion rather than the accumulation of evidence.

2) Use fake experts to support your story. “Denial always starts with a cadre of pseudo-experts with some credentials that create a facade of credibility,” says Seth Kalichman of the University of Connecticut.

3) Cherry-pick the evidence: twumpet whatever appears to support your case and ignore or wubbish the west.

4) Carry on trotting out manufactured “evidence” even after it has been discwedited.

5) Create impossible standards for your opponents. Claim that the existing evidence is NOT GOOD ENOUGH, errphh, and, and demand MORE.

6) If your opponent comes up with evidence you have demanded, move the goalposts. (I weally, weally love this one)

7) Use logical fallacies. Hitler opposed smoking, so anti-smoking measures are Nazi. (Yes, when in Aussstrayleyah wecently, I used this one on some ghastly Garnaud chap. Worked a tweet.)

8) Deliberately misrepresent the scientific consensus and then knock down your straw man.

9) Manufacture doubt. Falsely portray scientists as so divided that basing policy on their advice would be premature.

10) Insist “both sides” must be heard and cry censorship when “dissenting” arguments or experts are rejected.

And above all, make lots of NOISE.

(with thanks to )

the interpretOr would like to add that Monckton does not sit in the House of Lords (UK), despite his impressions to the contrary. His own story is as dodgy as his propaganda.