Amid the acrimony and uncertainty of the Labor leadership tussle, new evidence is emerging that had Kevin Rudd not triumphed in 2007, John Howard may have been on the verge of introducing a mandatory ‘citizens code of conduct’. Sources close to the interpretOr allege that key elements were mandatory recitals of:
  1. you will work until you’re 75, and you better not grumble about it either
  2. honesty equates with weakness
  3. there is something deeply suspicious about men who don’t embrace sport
  4. things are never good, bad, crap, plain wrong, fantastic, sublime:- they are either appropriate or inappropriate
  5. there is nothing wrong with watching more television these days
  6. be sanctimonious at all appropriate times
  7. people who say “quite frankly” deserve to be listened to
  8. at the end of the day, I’m sure they know what’s appropriate
  9. it’s appropriate to discuss declining family values, but inappropriate to discuss ‘current affairs’ or social(ist) issues
  10. ties should be worn during daylight hours, Mon to Fri, and Sundays

There are also suggestions that Kevin ’07 may have prevented other tough new mandatory requirements including weekly hair cuts, neighbourhood watch, Home Flag ceremonies,….