News has just come in that reveals why Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlustonni was forced to resign. He has been snubbed by IMF officials. Mr Berlustonni had invited leading IMF figures to one of his famous Bunga Bunga parties but after looking around at what Silvio had provided, the executives after a brief animated discussion with Mr Berlustonni left in a huff.

When asked what had caused their departure, Silvio told the press pack that he had mistaken their purpose. “I thought they were on the same wavelength as me as I thought IMF stood for Immature Maiden Fanciers but I had underestimated them”, he said. “In fact they wanted to see much more pain and suffering. They wanted people tied down for long periods and punished. Why was I not told their initials mean Interminable Masochistic Fetishists. This totally demoralised me and left me feeling impotent and unable to keep on screwing Italy as I had in the past.”