think tanks. ‘Think-tanks’. Think ‘tanks’. Think, “tanks!!!”

Tanks are part of the Fear trade, as are think tanks, aka ‘policy institutes’: eg. the IPA (Institute of Public Affairs), Melbourne’s IOT (Institute of Orange Tanning), ALEC…

Here’s a smashing and simple recipe for your next ‘think tank’:

  • repeat the mantra: “policy institute” “policy institute” “policy institute” “policy institute” while you assemble the basic ingredients
  • at least three beards
  •  cue cards that are inscribed with useful phrases for public/media appearances:

“at the end of the day”      “that’s highly (in)appropriate”        “quite frankly”   “the overwhelming evidence” “any decent pers…”

  • research ‘evidence’:  free range or processed, statistics, statistics, statistics
  • titles:   Senior Fellow, Emeritus Professor

Add botox, check orange tan, schedule plenty of media appearances…