Mr Rabbit’s Adventures part 4

Something big has happened to Mr Rabbit. Something has made him prick up those magnificent ears and hear the universe speak to him. He has had a conversion. He has discovered compassion. It was probably the Bishop that had reminded him that like many Boat Bunnies, Jesus also came from the Middle East and that as a babe in swaddling cloth he had been a refugee.

“How would Jesus like to be sent off to Fantasia as an unaccompanied minor” he asked himself? Surely he would prefer to be sent to Gnawru. Mind you we’re not housing them in stables so what could we do with the bloody donkey? Anyway he vowed to give up trying to be meaner than Carrot Top otherwise he would end up having to share platforms with that other Carrot Top from Queensland. That would be too embarrassing even for a rabbit that wore budgie smugglers and especially because he had helped to chuck her out of the Gliberal Party after stealing her policy ideas.

So Mr Rabbit decided to discuss compassion with  Morrie Bun his Shallow Monster for Irrigation and particularly discuss being kinder to the Boat Bunnies. They devised a new kinder plan for the Gliberal Party. They would change their image. “From now on we will sound compassionate at every opportunity” he exclaimed. Let’s call a pest conference to show our new soft and cuddly outer skin to the world.

Morrie Bun could not wait, so they collected Cinder Brandies who is the Shallow Attorney General and headed out to talk to the assembled members of the debauched estate.

At first, as Bleater Grief might have put it, it all went as swimmingly. Morrie Bun had severely castigated Carrot Top for enticing the cute little Boat Bunnies to risk their lives coming to Downunder in a leaky canoe. What made Morrie Bun gnash his teeth the most, was that after enticing them to paddle all the way here she was  going to send them straight back to Fantasia on an aeroplane.

Unfortunately one of the TV pests had read the Gliberal Party policy on refugees and asked difficult questions that made Mr Rabbit wish he had read it as well. She asked Morrie Bun if the Gliberals were in fact proposing to turn the leaky canoes around and make the Boat Bunnies paddle to Undernesia and she asked isn’t that more dangerous than a plane trip to Fantasia?” Morrie Bun swallowed hard and began to sweat, while his mouth opened and shut rapidly no sound was coming out.

Mr Rabbit leapt to Morrie Buns rescue with a brilliant answer. It wouldn’t be cruel or dangerous because they would turn the canoes around outside Downunder. This would mean they had never really come here so it couldn’t be seen to be cruel. It would be as if it had never happened. Mr Rabbit was very proud of this answer because like climate denial it was at the spiritual centre of Gliberal philosophy.