Embattled Federal Opposition Leader, Tony Abbott, has today made a dramatic plea, reversing his earlier mantra. He is very concerned about the “well founded fear of persecution” that characterises the plight of the cream of the world’s elite sailors:

“Look, at the end of the day, umm, quite frankly, just don’t stop the boats.”

Echoing his call are organisers of the World “don’t stop the boats” championships (that are not really going to be held in Fremantle), but the brash, new port city of Perth. Sponsors and supporters of the World “don’t stop the boats” championships include ratings’ agencies Poor Standards, Mooody’s and Filth. 

Meanwhile in other news, Australian icon, legend and World Knitting champion, Greg Normal, has announced a smashing new sponsorship deal with prestige watch brand ‘Red Dot: depuis 1988’, and there are hopes that he may have the opportunity to defend his title at the Malcolm Day Stadium in Kwinana, early 2012…