Archive for January 24, 2012


A timely, telling and recently published University of Western Australia study has found:

“People who had flags on their cars, 43 per cent of them believe the White Australia Policy had saved Australia from problems that other countries had experienced,”

Caucasians for Toadying Royalism CEO, Sir David Stone (allegedly on first name terms with ‘Fergie’ Ferguson, former Duchess of Pork) has hit back:

“Look, at the end of the day, it’s frightful, if not abssssurd,  to suggest that there’s a ‘link’ between motor car flegs and wacism. Quite fwankly, this is yet more latte, chardonnay sniping. One has 12 flegs on one’s motor car and if one had one’s way, it would ectually be a mandaTORY on our auspicious day and other anniversawies, such as the faurthcoming Queen’s Pletinum Jubilee….”

Norb Fones was unavailable for comment.

Norb FOnes: “DON’T YOU KNOWWW WHO I AM?”

We know precisely who you are, you may do, and I’m asking you to leave, Mr Fones.

I want to see the MANAGER, NOW!!!

The manager isn’t available right now.

I want to see the MANAGER, RIGHT NOW!!!

This performance, this outburst is upsetting other staff and diners and it’s not the first time, is it Norb?

You’re really asking ME, Norb Fones, to leave?

No Mr Fones. I’m now actually telling you to leave. I’m the new owner of ‘Flossmirror’ and we’re not putting up with any more of your bullying, hectoring, disgusting behaviour. As well as changing our ghastly name, we’re doing a spot of spring cleaning too, so OUT YOU GO…

I’ll destroy you. I command an audience of millions!! MILLIONS!!!

Well, we don’t need millions of bigoted morons rocking up here, so you and your friend, who’s incidentally just returning from the bathroom, can s-o-d right o-f-f.

Vell Norb, theeese has been luvelee.

Just had a call from Henry, dear Leni, and we need to meet him back at the ranch…err presto…

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