…a great Australian, listeners. He’s one of us and proud of us. Jamie just wants hardworking mums and dads to be able to have fun in the club. Fun in the club without the leering latte drinkers clamping down on their liberties, their freedom to pokie. It just makes me so angry, we all work soo, soo hard. Up next on Radio nOw, here’s the great Sir Cliff with ‘Summer Holiday’…”

…Oh, thank fxxx for that. $440 is a bloody joke, Henry! no, nO, NO. Claire! Claire! coffee, NOW, this instant

‘Instant, Mr Fones?’

For fxxxing christ sakes…FRESH, fresh coffee. NOWWW!!!

But Norb, the integration opportunities on this are absolutely standout. Free to air, inflight horizons and associated platforms. And we’re talking ks, big Ks.

Do I have to remind you YET AGAIN, that I work my butt off as it is, Henry. Claire! Tissues. Aloe vera, for fxxx’s sake. NOT THOSE, they’re tea tree. Claire, quite frankly, I want mine! I want mine now!

Here, Norb, have one of mine, proffered Henry.

Take that disgusting, soggy item away from me NOW!!

But, the other item, Norb, is the MoystCheeks live read & promo. I thought you might want to check out the product, the merchandise? They’re bringing to the table circa $210 for openers?

Oh, fxxxing well pass it back here then, Henry! What does a MAN have to do in this…And what’s the latest on dear Tony? You know damn well that he and I are off to the Lesser Antilles and Sir Cliff’s over Easter, Henry. EASTER 2012. Meinpantz is a glorious opportunity with synergy and innovation on touchpoints and associated extensIONS!! We must be united…we will move forwards…with opportunity to WIN!

Of course, of course, Norb. Just didn’t want to bombard you with detail. Trying to keep it all tight and topline and Australia Day’s up well in advance of Barbados. Leni’s parachuting in for lunch Friday and Claire’s across your diary.

Misss Reeferstool. Pick and stick, hey Henry. P..e..ck und s..ss..te…ckk

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(ps. not condoning Norb Fones’ horrible behaviour – the character he’s based on may exist and transcripts of off-mike rants may show ‘Fones’ to be even more repulsive off-mike than on)